


Kidnapped

by sasukewasameme



Series: Eren Angst [7]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angsty Eren Yeager, Bad Ending, Broken Eren Yeager, Broken Families, Brother/Brother Incest, Character Death, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Depressing, Forced Orgasm, Fucked Up, Half-Sibling Incest, Hate to Love, Hurt, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, I triggered myself with this fanfiction, Incest, M/M, Murder, Older Eren Yeager, Rape/Non-con Elements, Sad Ending, Sibling Incest, Stockholm Syndrome, Suicidal Eren Yeager, Two Endings, just in case, no happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-14
Updated: 2020-12-16
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:28:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28059198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sasukewasameme/pseuds/sasukewasameme
Summary: Squad Levi and Hange are captured by Zeke to lure Eren out. Eren agrees to be kidnapped by Zeke so he can save them but ends up kidnapped himself. What happens when Zeke abuses him to the point of mind break?Edit: I decided to change the ending so I'm really sorry for those of you who wanted this to end with stockholm syndrome. I'm making a separate ending specifically for stockholm syndrome, though, so please look forwards to that!HUGE TRIGGER WARNING/PLEASE READ THE TAGS
Relationships: Eren Yeager/Zeke, Eren Yeager/Zeke Yeager
Series: Eren Angst [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2031976
Comments: 9
Kudos: 60





	1. Chapter 1

"Stop!" Eren yelps as Zeke grabs his arm and pulls him onto the dog-like Titan. "I promised myself I'd save you from these Walls, brother. And here I am." Eren struggles, trying to get out of his older half brother's grasp. Then, "where did you take them? Tell me!" 

Zeke looks surprised at first, then smiles. "I'll show you where." Eren calms down immediately, still alert though. He doesn't mind being kidnapped if it means he can save his friends and Captains. Zeke takes them to a place far from the Walls. Eren can't memorize where they're going because most of it is desert and he doesn't know which direction they're in. 

When he starts to see buildings, he sees a hand in the corner of his eye and by the time he turns around, the hand has hit his head against a rock held in the other hand. 

Eren wakes up with his arms tied to his back and a gag in his mouth. When he looks around the room, he sees Levi Squad and Hange tied to chairs around the room. There's a bed in the middle of the room with handcuffs and chains attached to it. Eren feels a little sick at the thought of there being a chained bed in the room.

Maybe he subconsciously knows what's going to happen or maybe he saw it in Zeke's eyes. But whatever happens tonight, he likely won't come out the same. "Eren. You're awake," says Hange. Mikasa struggles violently against her restraints. 

"I'll kill him." Armin turns to Mikasa, kindness and concern in his eyes. "Mikasa. I hate to say this but there's nothing we can do. The best thing we can do for Eren is be on our best behavior so he won't get punished." Eren wonders why they don't have gags in their mouths.

"Armin's right," says Captain Levi. "There's nothing we can do right now anyways." Mikasa glares at him but stops struggling accordingly. "Eren," Levi directs his attention to the young Titan Shifter. "Do you think you could get up?" Eren nods once and tries to stand.

Just then, the door to the room opens. Zeke walks in and closes it behind himself. There's the sound of a click and the door assumably locks. Eren trips and falls to Zeke's feet. Zeke is giving him a warm smile and Eren wonders what the hell is wrong with him.

Does he really think Eren will love him if he captures him and his friends? He glares at the man, glare almost as strong as Mikasa's. "My, my. What a glare. It's okay, brother. I've saved you from the horrors of the Walls." He kneels down and takes the gag out of Eren's mouth. 

"Fuck you!" Spits Eren. "If you loved me, you wouldn't be doing this." Zeke looks hurt by this. "I think you'll find that I love you greatly, brother." He forces Eren to stand and walks him to the bed. He throws him onto it on his back. Eren clenches his teeth and his eyes close on the impact his head makes with the headboard.

Zeke crawls onto the bed, body above Eren's. Eren can feel his friends and Hange yelling obscenities and insults at Zeke. Zeke doesn't listen to them and, instead, he leans forward, face and mouth getting closer to Eren's.

Eren leans his head as far back as he can to avoid Zeke's mouth and then puts his head to the side, eyes squeezed shut as he waits for what's about to happen. The room is suddenly silent, air heavier than before as the terrified anticipation about what's going to happen grows. 

Zeke takes Eren's head and moves it to face him and puts his lips over Eren's. Heavy, dark shock fills the room and after a minute to recover from it, Eren's friends start yelling and insulting again, this time Levi joining them. "Hey, dumbass. That kid is your brother." 

But Zeke keeps kissing him, this time opening Eren's mouth and sticking his tongue inside. Eren tries to bite his tongue but Zeke somehow has a good enough hold on his jaw to prevent him from biting. Finally, the man lets go. A string of saliva attaches Eren's mouth to his brother's. 

"See, brother? I told you I love you." Eren shakes his head. "That's the wrong kind of love. What do you want with me?" Zeke seems all too happy to answer this. "I want you to stay with me forever." Then, he pulls up Eren's shirt and reveals his chest and nipples.

He brings his fingers to Eren's nipples and circles them teasingly. Eren's chest quivers and grief takes over as he realizes what's going to happen and there's nothing he can do about it. And worst of all, it's going to happen in front of his whole squad and Hange. 

Zeke grinds his mouth down and latches it onto Eren's left nipple, lapping at it occasionally. Eren let's out a frustrated whine. He doesn't want this. He never asked for this. Tears come to his eyes and his grief grows stronger. What's this feeling? Guilt? Shame? He doesn't know.

By the time Zeke moves to his other nipple, he can already feel his mind breaking. He wants to laugh and cry at the same time. What a predicament he's in. If he doesn't get out of here, he'll hate himself forever. He struggles even more. He didn't see the point of kicking his legs into the nothingness of the air before but now, it seems like a wonderful idea.

He kicks his legs, trying so hard to kick his brother off of him. After several minutes, Zeke says, "you don't give up, do you?" Then Jean says, "good luck trying to get that one to give up. Once his mind's set on something, you can't get him to stop."

Eren doesn't like the look in his brother's eyes when Jean says that. It's almost as if he takes what Jean said as a challenge. After several minutes, the man is done with Eren's nipples and moves to undo Eren's pants. Eren kicks and kicks and finally, tears start to fall from both the frustration and the brokenness he's feeling.

He struggles and struggles. "No. Stop. Please," he says. That's when everyone in the room notices the wetness coming from the tent in Zeke's pants. Did he really just cum over Eren's begging? Hange says something along the lines of "sick bastard."

Zeke is finished with undoing Eren's pants and pulls them down. Eren is too ashamed to look anyone in the room in the eye and suddenly finds it easier to watch as his brother molests him than to see the reactions of his friends watching.

Zeke touches Eren's clothed penis, feeling around it. And Eren watches in absolute horror as his penis starts to harden. He wants everyone to look away. He wishes no one can see it. After Zeke plays with his penis for a while, he pulls Eren's underwear down.

Then, Zeke pulls his own pants and underwear down, impatient to get started. He grabs Eren's torso and twists him around to be sitting on his stomach, face down on the pillow. He puts two fingers to Eren's mouth and tells him to "suck." But Eren's more keen on biting him.

So, the fingers enter his anus dry, which isn't a pleasant feeling. Eren can feel his mind in shock from the newly made trauma. It feels like the fingers stretching him are there for hours but it's really only been a few minutes. When Zeke is done, he grabs Eren by the his and pulls him towards his own.

He angles his penis to be directly outside his brother's entrance and enters slowly. Eren feels his mind break. All humans react to being broken differently. Eren reacts by crying at first. He cries and whines and shakes his head, wishing his older brother to hell. 

That's when Zeke starts thrusting. It didn't take long for Eren to realize the more he cries, the more it turns Zeke on and the faster he thrusts into him. But that's the thing; he can't stop crying. It's the only thing keeping him from going completely insane. 

The yells from his friends don't come anymore. The room is in a very uncomfortable silence as everyone is just hoping Eren isn't broken. But as his brother keeps thrusting into him, he continues to break, splintering off into pieces one by one. It starts to feel good and Eren decides he can't forgive himself when he begins moaning. The tears fall harder. 

He feels sick. He thinks he's going to vomit. The sounds of Zeke's pants get faster and Eren thinks he's going to cum soon. Eren himself is about to cum. The good feeling grows and grows but so does the sickness. And he cums, vomit coming soon after. His small pool of vomit makes it hard to breathe. 

Every time he breathes in, he breathes the vomit and coughs, only to breathe some in even more. Is this how he's going to die? By choking on his own vomit? He hears multiple voices and cries of his name, worry prominent in them. "Your brother's going to die. Is this what you wanted?" Eren barely registers the Captain's voice. 

He suffocates and suffocates until his eyes roll back and he can see no longer. Just as he can hear his brother moaning his name, he passes out. 

Eren wakes up and he doesn't know what time it is. He looks around the dark room numbly. "Eren," says Armin. Eren looks at Armin and Armin gasps at how dead his eyes look. Eren notices that there isn't any vomit on the bed anymore and his clothes are on while his body is cleaned off.

Who bathed him? He looks around the room some more before resting his head on the bed. There's nothing he can do. This is it. His life is now destined to be forever miserable. He decides he won't be able to take all of this. He'd rather die than break some more.

A lady brings them all food and watersoon after he wakes up.

Someone lightly patters the door and opens it. Eren doesn't expect anyone other than Zeke. Once the man comes into view, it's clear that he was right. It's Zeke. Eren shakes, fear ahold of him. "Dear brother, I've just come back from work." He rubs Eren's thigh sensually.

Eren's eyes widen and he knows what's coming next. "No," he says, unable to stop himself. That wasn't a good idea apparently because Zeke digs his nails into Eren's thigh as a punishment and it hurts. Unfortunately, this makes Eren panic even more and he starts kicking at Zeke to get him to go away.

Zeke accordingly grabs at Eren's legs and holds them down. Eren twists and turns and tries kicking his legs some more but he just ends up on the ground. Zeke picks him up and throws him onto the bed violently, face first like the last time. But Eren keeps kicking his legs which pisses Zeke off.

Zeke pulls Eren's pants and underwear down as quickly as he can and then pulls down his own pants and underwear. Then, he aligns his penis with Eren's entrance and enter in one firm thrust. And Eren screams a guttural, animal-like scream that makes even Zeke uneasy.

He stops for a moment, unsure how he's supposed to react to his little brother's painful screaming. When Eren's screaming turns into more of a whining cry, Zeke pulls out and thrusts back in again, deeper this time and Eren let's out a sobbing yell. "It hurts. It hurts."

Somewhere in the background, Eren's friends are doing everything they can to get out of their restraints to help him but Eren is too focused on the pain to understand what they're doing. All Eren can see is red. Painful, unforgiving red. Zeke doesn't stop and has finally found a rythym he enjoys thrusting to.

Eren is in an incredible amount of pain and he almost wonders if he'll be permanently damaged from this. Until he remembers that his Titan powers will heal whatever Zeke does to him. Will this ever end? His anus is bleeding badly and he wonders if it would be possible for him to bleed to death.

Eren doesn't particularly believe in the existence of a higher being but in the moment, he prays to the God of the Walls, hoping someone will magically save him. He prays and prays to the God, asking and begging. But nothing happens.

By the end of it, Eren is begging the God to kill him. Finally, pride thrown away completely, he cries out loud. "Please... Kill me. Just kill me," he begs. After several minutes of his begging to a God he doesn't believe in, Zeke is done. Eren is left in worse shape than he himself realizes. 

He'll do anything to make this never happens again. Anything. "...anything," says Eren. "What do you mean, brother?" Eren tries to breathe between his sobs. "I'll-I'll do anything. Just stop." Zeke has compassion on his face and it looks twisted to Eren. 

"I'm sorry, brother. All I want is for you to love me." Oh. Eren understands now. It's like a hit to the face. If he wants the pain to stop, he needs to pretend to love his brother. He needs to be willing. Zeke leans down and his face is closer to Eren's than Eren's face has ever been with someone else. 

Zeke leans forward and presses his lips to Eren's. And Eren doesn't know why but this makes him sob even louder. He sounds like a crying child, unable to muffle the loud noise of his cries. Zeke doesn't seem to mind, though, and pulls away. Then, he licks Eren's tears. Eren finds this act to be cruel. Is he saying his tears are tasty? That he likes to make him cry?

"I love you, Eren," says Zeke. Eren trembles. "I love you too." Somewhere in the corner of his eye, he can see Mikasa and Armin crying. He hates himself so much. So damn much. But he can't think of any other way to do this. Can't think of any way out. If he's going to be forced to live, he'd rather live life as happy as he can possibly get, even if it means pretending to love his brother.

The next day, Zeke comes in and fucks Eren again. The next day, he does it again. The next day, again. Then, again. And again. And again. By the seventh day, Eren thinks he's gotten used to it. If he fights, he gets painfully raped. If he doesn't, he gets raped but at least it's not painful. 

He's stopped talking to his friends and Captains. He barely knows they're there. They're just an audience. They still cry over what's happening to Eren sometimes but they themselves are growing unfortunately used to this disgusting rythym. 

Humans are made to adapt. It's only natural that they would start growing used to this cycle. But just because you're used to something doesn't mean it hurts any less. Eren still hurts and bleeds just as much the seventh day as he did on his second day. The biggest difference between the second and the seventh day is that he knows how to be a "good boy" now. 

Zeke lays with him today and falls asleep with his arms around Eren. Eren has promised himself that he'll die when he gets out of here. Well, if. He's all alone in this cruel world. That's how he feels. And then a sick voice comes to mind. "At least your brother cares about you," it says. 

Then, he realizes what a sick thought that is and denies he ever thought such a thing. But the same thought comes back the next day, when Zeke says, "I'm so glad to have you here, brother. I've never been so happy in my life. I'll always love you no matter what." And Eren is reminded of his mother.

Wait, Eren thinks. He can't let himself think that. There's something wrong with him. And he's scared that he might be starting to... care?... about him. He has flashback to all of the things his brother has done. "But he's usually gentle with you. Because he cares." 

Eren wants to argue with the voice but it's true. His brother is usually gentle with him, trying not to let it hurt. And then Eren wants it to hurt. He wants Zeke to be mean. Because if he's mean, he can hate him. 

The next day, Zeke comes and, instead of fucking Eren, he sits on the bed and talks to him. To say Eren feels shocked is an understatement. "So, what's your favorite color?" He asks after a while. Eren thinks about the ocean and says, "blue." "Mine is green. Like your eyes," says Zeke. Eren doesn't know what to do with Zeke's compliments. He doesn't want to accept them but he doesn't want to say nothing either so he just looks away, unsure what to do with himself. 

"Do you want me to show you around the house?" Now Eren is far beyond shocked. So many thoughts and emotions come to his head. But he nods. Zeke takes out a key and unlocks Eren's handcuffs. Eren moves his stuff arms and hands, holding them to his sides comfortably for the first time in days. 

It hurts at first but he's okay. Zeke grabs Eren and presses a passionate kiss to his mouth. He stays there, mouth to Eren's for a few minutes. He catches Captain Levi's eye and Levi looks at him expectantly. He wants Eren to fight Zeke now that he's free. 

Eren quickly looks away, hoping the shame doesn't show itself in his eyes. The shame that he won't fight his brother who's broken his mind. Zeke breaks the kiss. "Are you ready?" Eren nods almost hesitantly. "Let's go."


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Extreme trigger warning for guilt, self blame, victim thinking he's the predator, murder, suicide attempt, rape, self-harm, and mind break.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is technically complete but if people want me to continue this, I will continue it.

Zeke unlocks the door and they step through it. The house is lit up and they walk down a hall to the living room. The house looks the same as any other house and Eren doesn't know why that comes as a surprise. What did he expect? A dungeon?

The house has a lonely feel to it. Zeke has clearly lived here alone most of his life. Zeke takes Eren to the couch and unclothes him. Eren let's Zeke use his body, this time out of pity. Zeke's thrusts are desperate, almost as if he's been waiting for this. 

When Zeke is done, Eren touches his face. His brother feels just as human as him. He wishes his skin was rough so he could hate the feel of it. Eren has his fellow team and Hange on his mind. "What are you thinking?" Asks Zeke. "What're you going to do with everyone else?" Eren replies. Zeke's face turns into serious contemplation. 

"Are you lonely?" He asks. Eren looks down, trying to hide his emotions. "You are." Eren's face burns and he's not sure if it's from anger because he was taken from his social life or embarassment at having been read. "Why are you angry about having been taken from your social life?" Asks a voice. 

"You're just a complaining little brat."

Eren's eyes widen. "Is being loved by someone not enough for you?" And Eren starts to feel bad. Zeke brings his hand to Eren's face and he flinches, remembing when he last very violently raped him. But his older brother's touch is sweet and gentle. 

Zeke leans forward and kisses Eren softly. Then, he brings his hand to the back of Eren's head, pressing their lips closer. He opens his mouth and slips his tongue inside Eren's. Soon, Eren is panting, trying to keep up so he can breathe between kisses. 

Zeke breaks apart. "I'll let your friends out one at a time each day but if they try anything, I'll have to threaten them. And when they're taken out, they'll be handcuffed." A part of Eren wants to murder Zeke while another part cares about him. He's too confused to act on anything right now. "I'll go get one." 

The one he chooses is Levi. Levi comes out with handcuffs on and he looks unhappy. Eren thought Zeke would give him time to get dressed but Levi walks in on him naked. Eren covers himself, somehow still embarassed even after all the times he's been raped in front of him.

Levi looks at Eren. His green eyes yell, "fucked up." He's clearly been through a lot. As Eren covers himself, Levi keeps eye contact. He doesn't care about the kid's body. He's seen it so many times before from dressing up to fight off Titans. The only one here who's embarassed is Eren. 

But Eren doesn't see it like that. He thinks that everyone who looks upon his body sees it sexually now. Eren turns around and quickly gets dressed. Levi is walked to the couch with cum on it. He can't deny that having to sit on such an unclean couch bothers him but he does it anyway. 

"Sit there," says Zeke. "I'll sit away so I can't hear your conversation," he says, more to Eren than to Levi and then walks away. Eren finishes dressing and looks at Levi, probably gauging how he should interact with him. "Captain," he says. Levi kicks his knee and Eren collapses to the ground.

Zeke gets up but Eren looks up and says, "it's okay." Zeke looks uncertain but sits back down anyways. Then, Levi kicks Eren's head. "Why didn't you kill him, soldier?" Then, Eren cries. Loudly. He curls into himself and says brokenly, "I don't know." 

Levi furrows his brows. "Damn brat." 

Eren cries and cries. He hates himself. He should die. He's worthless. He came here to save his friends but now he's standing by and watching them in captivity. He's such a terrible person. "At least you have someone who loves you," says a voice.

"Why are you bringing that up again?" Eren asks. Levi raises a brow. "Poor Levi has no one," says a new, different voice. This voice sounds of pity. Eren cries harder. Maybe the Captain will forgive him if he lets him use him too. He lays on the couch, tears falling down his face, and legs spread. 

"What are you doing?" Asks the Captain. "Do you want to use me?" I'm ready for you," says Eren. 

Levi is shocked and almost appalled. "And why would I want to have sex with your dirty ass?" Eren is surprised. Captain Levi doesn't want him? He's beyond relieved, to the point of being almost happy. He sits up, eyes cast down. "Thank you." Levi glances at him and then looks straight ahead, saying nothing.

"I'm sorry," says Eren after a few minutes. The Captain says, "you made your choice. I don't know what I would have done if I was in your situation." Eren stares down at his hands and plays with his fingers. They sit in silence for the rest of the time until Zeke puts Levi back in the room. 

Eren feels like he owes Zeke a thank you for letting him speak to Levi but something in the back of his head tells him he should be mad at him; not thankful. All the same, a voice juxtaposes that by saying, "look at all he's done for you. He loves you. You don't deserve his love."

Eren doesn't argue with the voice; he doesn't have the energy to. Zeke sits with him when he's done putting Levi back. "How'd it go, brother?" "Fine," says Eren, not quite yet open to full conversation with his brother. "Why did you open your legs for Levi?" Eren cringes. "I-I thought he was lonely." 

Zeke's eyes light up with possessiveness and he grabs Eren's legs and pulls them onto the couch, making Eren lie down. Then, he crawls over Eren's body and presses himself against him. "You're mine," he whispers into Eren's ear. Zeke's change in personality fills Eren with fear. 

He's usually gentle with him. He's not like... this. Then, the memory of having been violently violated by him presses itself into his memory and he automatically pushes Zeke away, fear taking control. And then Zeke slaps him! He pushes Eren's shoulders down, pushing him further onto the couch. 

Eren grabs his face where he was slapped but then Zeke pulls his hand away. Zeke kisses Eren while he tears his shirt off. Eren tries tos stop his fast moving hands but they're everywhere. He's almost confused at what's going to happen to him because of how sudden it's happening.

Then, Zeke is sucking at his nipples and taking his pants off and finally, Eren's mind has caught up to what's happening. "Please, don't." He says. "It's okay for him to do it and not me?" Eren shakes his head. "No. That's not it." He claws at Zeke's arms desperately, trying everything to get him to stop. But Zeke doesn't listen to him and now his mouth is on his penis. 

"Please, brother. Stop," he says, panicked. But Zeke does not listen, although he seems satisfied at having been openly called "brother." Now Zeke is aligning his penis with Eren's entrance and Eren tries kicking him but fails miserably. 

Zeke thrusts into Eren and it hurts. It hurts. Eren's eyes water and he's not sure if he's crying from the pain he feels inside or if his eyes are just watering. Zeke finds a pace he likes and marks Eren's neck and body all over, claiming possession.

Zeke cums fast this time, more turned on than usual, and pulls out. Eren feels a depressed, sad kind of numb. He shakily gets up and pulls his pants up. His shirt was ripped off so he can't wear it anymore. He avoids his brother's eyes. "Come sit here," says Zeke as he sits back down on the couch.

Eren sits next to him nervously, untrusting. He wants to escape. Tonight, he decides. Tonight, he'll try to escape. He can't deal with this. And he'll let his friends loose too. He doesn't want Zeke to take it out on them. Zeke holds Eren as he cries and presses kisses to his tears, making them go away. 

After an hour, Eren's tears go dry and he feels better. Zeke holds him the whole time, comforting him. "See? He comforts you when you're down. Does anyone else do that for you? He loves you. And you love him back." Eren shakes his head, denying it. "Yes, you do," says one voice angrily and sternly. 

Eren fears the voice. Will the voice mind rape him if he doesn't listen to it? He gets the feeling that it will. "If you don't listen to me, I'll show you my true form and you'll regret everything you've ever done up to this point," the voice says as if to make a point. 

Eren clings to Zeke, then, feeling safer with him than the voice. And he hates himself because he's never clinged to anyone before. Not even his mother. But his fear has overcome him and he can only imagine what the voice will do to him. 

Zeke seems to be happy as his little brother clings to him. Eren wants to tell him that he doesn't love him though. That he doesn't cling to him because he trusts him but rather because there's something he fears even more than he fears him. But he keeps his mouth shut, scared that his words will make his brother hurt him again. 

Eren decides that he'll stick around until he finds out how to be rid of the threatening voices. Zeke takes him back to the room when Eren's done crying, anyways, and locks the door behind him. Eren sleeps on the floor tonight. The bed reminds him of his brother raping him and he hates it. He'd rather sleep on the dirty floor. 

The next day, Zeke let's him out and brings out Hange this time. Hange isn't her usual happy self. She makes indirect threats to Zeke as he brings her out and sits down next to Eren looking apologetic for everything that's happened to him. "How are you doing?" She asks.

Eren's eyes still hold fear and he's afraid of speaking. (Will Zeke rape him again if he speaks?) So, Eren just gives an unhappy shrug as an answer. "Don't worry, Eren. I can assure you that he will pay for this." She sounds confident that they'll be saved which is saying something because she's not the type to give false confidence.

"How long?" Asks Eren, assuming she'll know what he's asking. He regrets asking that right away, though, because she looks down, not wanting to say. "That long, huh?" He asks. And, he can't help it, but he starts to laugh. The tears come quickly after and he's stuck laugh-crying, feeling like he's losing it. "So, I'm gonna have to deal with this for a while then." 

Eren covers his face, trying to hide his weaknesses. Crying over being raped feels weak to him. It feels vulnerable. And he wants to hide his vulnerabilities. Hange says nothing, letting him cry it out. When it's Hange's turn to leave, she promises him they'll make it out of there as long as he holds on.

Eren feels like he can't keep that promise. He's definitely going to lose it and kill himself if things don't get better. Zeke fucks him again when Hange's gone. "You haven't been speaking to me," he says at one point, stroking Eren's face. Eren turns away and lies, "my throat just hurts. I think I might be catching a cold." 

Zeke frowns. Can he see through Eren's lie? He hopes not. His bottom hurts and so does the bottom of his back. He hopes Zeke will pull out soon. Zeke doesn't. He pulls out an hour later and Eren is unbearably sore. It's still better than yesterday though. 

He's so tired of this. He wants out. He needs out. He wants to die. 

The next day is a repeat of the last. Eren avoids speaking to his brother out of fear. His brother uses him to get out his sexual desires. And he goes to bed feeling unbearably sad. The next day is the same. And the next. And the next. Until he can't take it anymore. 

The next day, Eren says he needs to go to the bathroom. Zeke trusts him enough to roam the bathroom without handcuffs and being watched now. (Is Zeke an idiot or is he also insane?) Eren grabs the razor from the bathroom and takes it apart as quickly as he can. He ends up with multiple cuts on his hands and saves the razor blades for later in his back pocket.

He'll wait for Zeke to go to bed and then he'll kill himself. The plan is very simple. He already knows he can handle the pain of suicide. He's been hurt so many times before that the pain will be nothing. 

Zeke goes to sleep a few hours after it's dark. Eren waits an extra hour in the room to make sure he's asleep for real. Then, he takes the blades out and picks the sharpest one to slit his wrists with. "Eren! Don't!" He's going to have to do this fast because his friends and Captains are going to yell. Eren cuts into his wrist deep. He can see the white, fatty muscle under his skin when he cuts into it. 

But it's not enough. To commit suicide by cutting the wrist, he needs to cut into the artery. So, he cuts over the cuts he made which is terribly painful. He groans and shuts his eyes as he drags the blade across the deep, fatty laceration on his wrist. Halfway across his wrist, he hits something extremely painful and blood starts gushing. 

His friends yell and yell but he's not focused on their screams. He's focused on the pain. After a few minutes, he starts to feel light-headed. "Eren!" He doesn't comprehend who's screams those are as he blacks out. 

Eren cracks his eyelids open and sees light. He's not in a familiar place. Whatever he's laying on is unfamiliar. Is he dead? He opens his eyes fully and his mind is still clouded with confusion as he looks around the bright, white place. When his mind catches up, though, he feels like an idiot. He's in a hospital. 

He almost laughs darkly about how he thought a hospital was heaven. "He's awake," he hears to the right. He looks to the right and sees a nurse talking to a Zeke passed out on the chair, presumably waiting for Eren to wake up. Eren doesn't realize how much he hates the man until he looks at him.

The second he looks at him, all of his hope and happiness is drained from his entire being, almost as if Zeke is a happiness-sucking demon. And he's immediately reminded why he tried to kill himself which leads to him feeling severe grief and regret at having failed his suicide attempt. 

"You're a failure, stupid brat!" Yells a voice. Eren clutches his head. "Get out," he says. He already looks crazy. He might as well look even crazier by yelling at the voices in his head. "You can't get rid of us," says one, almost menacingly. But Eren refuses to listent I them.

"Get the fuck out of my head," he growls, now angry. He wants them out and he wants them out now. "You're pitiful." "You're pathetic." "You look crazy." Eren gets up from his hospital bed and walks to the wall. "Shut the hell up!" He hits his head roughly against the wall. 

"No," a voice says playfully. "Get out," he replies and hits his head against the wall again. "Mr. Kruger. Please don't do that." Who the hell is Kruger, Eren wonders for a second before returning to exorcising the voices in his head. "You will listen to me. Get out! I don't want you here!"

"This is funny." "I think he's losing it. Wanna watch the show?" "Hahahaha." The voices mock him and he's pissed. Now Zeke is standing up. Then, Eren gets the idea to commit suicide by beating his head in. He has to hurry, though. His brother is coming. 

Eren faces the wall quickly and gives one failed hit against the wall out of panic. Then, he calms himself down and tries again one more time. He's certain he can do this. He just needs to before Zeke grabs him. He puts his hands on the wall, spreads his legs out a little bit to get in the perfect position to force his head into the wall.

And then Eren swings his upper body back a bit and then quickly and strongly forces it forward. He feels an awful headache and he feels the shattering of his skull which is utterly painful and terrifying. His survival instinct screams out. His skull is shattered and there's nothing to protect the brain. His eyes involuntarily tear up as his body has a breakdown, wondering how it will ever repair itself.

Eren lays down on the ground staring off into space, trying to handle the pain. But the pain gets even more painful with every movement he makes. Now his body is racking with sobs and it's awful because with every sob he cries out, his head is hit with agonizing pain. 

At first, Eren was crying only as a bodily reaction to what he'd done to himself but now he cries with passion from the pain he feels with every sob and he's screaming out with each sob. He's screaming and crying like a toddler who didn't get his food when he asked for it. 

And the worst part? He never passes out. And why isn't he healing? A quick thought crosses his mind. Maybe he isn't healing because his body is too focused on healing his wrist? He checks his wrist and sees the trademark Titan steam coming from it. It's healing but it's healing slowly. 

What's going on? 

Zeke leans down next to him and all he can do is move his eyes to look at the man. He's otherwise paralyzed from the pain. "You shouldn't have done that, brother." The words that should be menacing come out softly. "You won't be able to heal normally because if the medicine we put into your system."

What medicine? Eren wants to ask but his lips don't move. Zeke picks him up and sets him back on the bed. His voice groans out in protest, not wanting to experience the pain of being moved but a voice is nothing in comparison to a strong man and Zeke wins. 

Eren is moved onto his back and he's staring at the ceiling. The nurse walks over to Eren, gaining her composure, and puts her hands to Eren's head. She feels around his broken skull and Eren feels as if his head is deformed. He imagines his head having a dip into the brain, deformed and impaired. 

"He's shattered some of his frontal skull. I don't feel anything poking into the brain. He barely missed smashing his brain into spaghetti." Eren vaguely wonders at the choice of words. Time in this world of a shattered mind passes as if time is just a concept. Time is non-existent and he's completely dazed. 

Nighttime comes. And goes. Eren falls in and out of sleep. He assumes it's been two days by the time steam finally starts coming from his head. It heals slowly at first but then he can hear the cracking if his skull coming back together. It's painful and every snap of the skull connecting is a shock. 

When he's finally finished healing, he slowly peels himself off of the white hospital paper beneath his body. Zeke wakes up at the crinkling sound of the hospital paper and gets up to help Eren. But Eren snacks his hand away. Zeke straightens in shock. "You ruined me." Says Eren. I can't get the voices out of my head. As if on que, the voices start up again. 

"He never ruined your life. You ruined your own life." "This is your fault. If you hadn't let yourself be captured, you wouldn't have been here." "You slut. You really think Zeke wanted you? No. You let dhim on so he had sex with you because he felt bad."

Eren's eyes widen. No way. He runs his hands through his hair, sweaty from stress. This is his fault? He's been the one seducing Zeke? He looks at Zeke. His brother wears a sweet smile and holds out his hand for him. Has he been the predator all along? 

"Brother. Tell me. Did you f-fuck me," he has a hard time saying the words, "because you wanted to?" Zeke smiles wider. "Of course, Eren. It's all for you." "See? He only had sex with you because he felt like he needed to for your sake. You're a disgusting pervert and no one will love you once they know what you did."

Eren feels paranoid now. What do his friends think about him after seeing him prey on his brother like this? Will they jail him for what he did? Kill him? He can only imagine what'll happen. He knows it's selfish but he almost wants to never be released so that he doesn't have to face the hate he'll receive once everyone at home knows what he did.

Eren looks at Zeke. He wants to do whatever he can for Zeke. To make up for what he did. But at the same time, he wants to avoid him at all costs because he doesn't want to be reminded of what happened. A feeling of grief weighs heavy on his body and he feels the worst he's ever felt in his life. Is this guilt he's feeling? 

He hopes the feeling is a one time thing and will go away soon. He walks with Zeke to the door that opens to the house and he feels paranoid, guilty, and grief as he collapses onto the couch, all thoughts dead. Severe self hate and depression takes over and his body feels heavier than it ever has. 

The feeling haunts him until he sleeps. Eren wakes up with the same feeling. It's awful. He feels like crying but yet he doesn't have the energy to cry. Zeke walks over to the couch and gets undressed. Eren almost falls off the couch he's so quick to leave. He wants nothing to do with Zeke. He doesn't want to fuck him. It's wrong. He seduced his brother into thinking he wanted this. He doesn't actually want this.

But Zeke pulls Eren onto the couch and undresses him quickly (he's getting better at this.) Then, he fucks into Eren wantonly. Eren's arms flail everywhere as he tries to escape. But Zeke keeps going. Is this how it felt for Zeke to be hurt by him? Maybe it's only fair that Zeke rapes him after he raped Zeke. 

Zeke keeps going and Eren soon feels pleasure. And he hates himself. Maybe he really is a pervert. At least it doesn't hurt. When Zeke's done, Eren sits there, thinking. And he comes to the conclusion that he deserves this. He deserves nothing more than pain for the rest of his life, he's decided. 

"Yeah, you deserve it you fucking rapist." Eren wants the voices to keep it down. He doesn't want anyone to hear them. He doesn't want anyone to hear his shame. His guilt. He looks around, making sure the voices weren't heard but Zeke shows no sign of having heard anything. 

Eren is still sceptical, unsure if he should trust Zeke's facial expressions. After all, he's a victim with PTSD who probably wants to hide his traumas. The poor man has been ruined by Eren. He'll never forgive himself. And Eren knows; he'll kill himself someday.

The awful feeling he feels goes away after a few days due to stress overcoming it. He was so close to killing himself in that time. Every time Zeke rapes Eren, he decides he deserves it. He wants Zeke to rape the guilt out of him. No amount of rape will ever make Eren forgive himself. 

He lets Zeke do anything and everything to him. He lets him treat him like a sex slave. (But is he really a slave when Zeke is the one at mercy to hurting?) As the days pass, Eren grows his self hatred. But as his self hatred grows, so does his pity for Zeke. 

One day, Eren decides he'll put Zeke out of his misery. He still has two blades in his pants. Zeke and the nurse assumed that he only had one when he attempted suicide so the others weren't taken away. Saying he'll kill Zeke is much easier said than done, though, and Eren dreams of it deeply for several days before he finally decides to follow through with it. 

And so. The time has come, he thinks. It's time for him to kill Zeke. So, when it comes nighttime and Zeke goes to put Eren in the room, Eren shakily attacks Zeke and throws hunt it he ground. Then, he sits atop him and takes out the blade from his pocket. Zeke is strong but Eren's will is stronger.

He puts the razor blade to Zeke's throat and starts slitting it slowly. He only knows he's hit something deep in Zeke's neck when blood starts pouring. Eren is covered in blood and mentally unstable. When he's sure Zeke's dead from blood loss, he gets up and walks to the room which Zeke barely got the door open to and sits on his bed.

The next few days, Eren cries and cries. He eats no food, drinks no drink, and doesn't feed his friends either. He's so depressed that he honestly doesn't care if they starve to death at the moment. He's absolutely parched and when he can no longer take it, he grabs water for both him and his friends (might as well since he's up.) 

Eren is scared that they'll attack him if he lets them loose so he doesn't let them loose yet. He's not yet ready to die. A few more days pass and he's come to terms with everything that's happened and he's ready to die. He lets his friends loose and they give him strange looks. Some of fear and some of concern. 

But none of them look like they want him dead.

"What's with those looks you're giving me? You don't want me dead?" Mikasa hugs him in tears. "I would never want you dead." Armin joins their hug. But this doesn't make Eren feel any better. Instead, he feels awful. They're supposed to punish him. To kill him. 

What's he going to do now that they don't want to kill him? And he can't just lock them back up. They'll fight back. Eren falls to his knees and screams. Will he be forced to live with this forever?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, this is technically complete but if enough people want me to continue it, I will.


End file.
